Fresh Starts and Clean Slates
2024 is almost gone, and I’m considering changes I’d like to make in the new year.
The idea of a fresh start with a clean slate sounds attractive, but as Mike points out in There Is No Starting Over, it can cause problems.
In this imagined new state, everything I’d written before would be like a dress rehearsal for the real thing. And everything that would come after would be perfect. In other words, I’d finally get my “act together,” whatever that means. - Mike Grindle
I’ve been holding on to a fantasy that someday, all my problems will be solved, and life will be smooth sailing. I can’t enjoy my life now, but once I “fix” myself, then things will be great. It’s a trap. I’m deferring my happiness to some imaginary point in the future that will never come.
Brandon talked about this in his No Clean Slate post.
I believe my quest for a clean slate was more of a desire to be someone different. To think that the version of me before was inheritedly broken and deserved to be replaced. - Brandon
I suffer from this in all areas of life. I reject myself for not measuring up. Everything feels like a test run. It’s never good enough. I’m always struggling and striving to meet some impossible standard, and it’s exhausting.
So, in 2025, I’m stepping off the self-improvement train. Things will never be perfect. I want to accept and appreciate my life as it is.